Three Ways to Make the Baltic Sea Safe for Russia's Tanker Fleet, but the Second is Most Enlightening
From "The Soviet Tractor耕作 in Peace" to Suggestions on Russia's Civilian Oil Tankers
Author: Alexander Shirokorad
To start with an old joke. It's about a certain "superpower" shelling a "Soviet tractor耕作 in Peace". Then TASS issued a statement: "In response to this groundless provocation, the tractor耕作 in Peace of the USSR delivered a devastating rocket salvo, destroying four artillery batteries, five aircraft, and up to 800 enemy troops, before ascending and hiding in the upper atmosphere."
Why tell this joke? Call it inspiration striking.
On June 10, 2025, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen called for new sanctions against the "shadow fleet" (i.e., oil tankers transporting Russian oil). Three days later, Israel's attack on Iran indicated that Russian oil was becoming an extremely attractive expensive commodity - meaning the so-called "shadow fleet" would have a busy schedule ahead.
Whether or not to purchase Russian oil is an internal matter for EU countries, but attacking oil tankers on the high seas constitutes piracy. Attacking our oil tankers not only causes losses for Rosneft but also empties all citizens' wallets. Don't those who spent billions on patriotic education realize that a blockade of the Baltic Sea would ultimately boomerang back onto their own heads?
When people hear tales of their ancestors' victories, they inevitably wonder: Why did Peter the Great want to open a window to Europe? Why did our sailors in the Baltic Sea sacrifice themselves from 1941 to 1945? Why do we hold costly naval parades now? Is it just so that "poor NATO guys" can openly blockade St. Petersburg?
Since ancient times, there have been three ways to deal with pirates: escorting merchant ships with warships, arming merchant ships, and destroying pirate fleet bases. The first method is very costly, and the third can be reserved for the final stage of anti-piracy operations.
The second method has been frequently adopted by many countries in the 21st century. In 2011, private military companies first began providing escort services for merchant ships, and since then, no ship escorted by mercenaries has ever been hijacked by pirates. Western media openly reported that hiring 8-10 mercenaries costs between $20,000 and $30,000, which is much cheaper than paying high insurance premiums, and the premium for hiring mercenaries to escort ships is also much lower.
A brief review of history: From the 12th century, all Hanseatic League city ships sailing in the Baltic Sea were required to have armed crew members. According to laws in Genoa and Venice in the 15th century, all merchant ships were required to have 10-30 crossbowmen and several stone-throwing cannons based on tonnage.
In 1862, Britain built the steamship "Enrico" for the Confederate States of America. The Confederates equipped it with 8 cannons and renamed it "Alabama", sending it out to attack Northern merchant ships on July 20, 1862. Within two years, the "Alabama" sank or captured 65 ( ! ) Northern warships and merchant vessels.
The captain of the "Alabama" was too arrogant, engaging in combat with the stronger Northern Federal frigate "Kearsarge" on July 19, 1864, and was sunk. The achievements of the "Alabama" caused great panic among the British, prompting London to force the signing of a convention prohibiting arming merchant ships. Despite this, from 1940 to 1941, Germans still armed seven merchant ships with six 15 cm old cannons and sent them to distant seas.
The raider ship "Penguin" sank or captured 28 merchant ships totaling 136,000 tons within ten and a half months, while another four ships (18,000 tons) sank after hitting mines. The raider ship "Seeadler" sank 11 ships (70,000 tons). On November 19, 1941, near the Australian coast, a raider disguised as a merchant ship encountered the latest Australian cruiser "Sydney" and attempted to check it. The Germans opened fire. In the brief firefight, the "Sydney" was destroyed, the "Seeadler" was seriously damaged, the crew abandoned ship in an orderly manner, and there were no survivors on the "Sydney".
The advent of container giants greatly increased the possibility of merchant ships being used for military purposes. For example, during the Falklands War in 1982, the British converted two 15,000-ton container ships into aircraft carriers within weeks, carrying "Harrier" vertical take-off and landing fighters and helicopters.
From 1983 to 1985, the Black Sea Shipyard in Sevastopol converted two roll-on/roll-off ships, "Agostinho Neto" and "Nikolai Cherkasov", into aircraft carriers. They were originally intended to carry vertical take-off aircraft and helicopters, but with the start of "reforms"...
In 2025, Iran commissioned the "Shahid Bahagiri" drone attack and reconnaissance aircraft carrier, with a flight deck 180 meters long. In addition to dozens of drones, the ship is also equipped with anti-ship missiles and air defense missiles, having been converted from a South Korean container ship in less than two years. By comparison, it takes the United States over 10 years to build an aircraft carrier, and ours takes at least twice as long.
Razin (a historical pirate in Russia) was an honest bandit, shouting "Hand over the money!" when boarding merchant ships. However, NATO admirals and politicians are shameless scoundrels and liars.
They clearly know that attacking oil tankers of the "shadow fleet" is piracy, yet they argue passionately that it's merely to "check if the tankers are involved in human trafficking or violate environmental standards"... and say that they merely "suggested the tanker captains change course to NATO ports, and after he made his own decision - we bear no responsibility."
The simplest and cheapest way to stop NATO piracy is to deploy small private military forces on oil tankers. For example, when an oil tanker leaves a Russian port, a tugboat will approach within half an hour of reaching the boundary of Russia's territorial waters, and 10-15 private military company soldiers (such as "Vasya Trubachev and his companions") will board the oil tanker. They carry several small containers containing "Korvet" anti-tank missile systems, "Willow" or "Strela" air defense missiles, and a few 12.7 mm "Kord" machine guns. These equipment are lightweight and can be carried by one or two soldiers in combat conditions. The range of the "Korvet" is 8-10 kilometers, with a thermobaric warhead equivalent to 10 kilograms of TNT.
If there is no pirate attack, after passing through the Danish strait, the oil tanker will meet a floating base like the "Smolny" or an old container ship in the North Sea, where the "hard men" and their equipment will be unloaded within half an hour. On the floating base, they eat well, are not exhausted by military training, enjoy life, and wait for the next "shadow" oil tanker heading to Russian ports to arrive.
The pattern of NATO ships' piracy is to approach oil tankers within 100-500 meters, or even attempt to "ram" them. At this time, the oil tanker crew will retreat to the cabins, which are absolutely safe - an empty oil tanker is unlikely to sink and can remain afloat even after being attacked by ten anti-ship missiles, whereas firing at a loaded oil tanker will inevitably result in tens of thousands of tons of oil leakage and an ecological disaster.
Assuming the "shadow" oil tanker does not comply with the pirate's orders, and a NATO patrol ship fires at the oil tanker's course, the "Vasya" group will launch a salvo of 4-6 "Korvet" missiles, and the private military company operators will release 6-10 attack quadcopters (four-axis drones), turning even a large patrol ship of 2,000-3,000 tons into a sea of flames within 2-4 minutes.
After 15 minutes, broadcasts in different languages will sound: "TASS authorized statement... A pirate ship in the Baltic Sea fired at an oil tanker, and the crew has taken measures to protect the ship. If the attacks continue, shore-based, airborne, and seaborne anti-ship missile attacks will be launched."
... Physiologist Pavlov's experiments showed that dogs could form conditioned reflexes after their first exposure to strong stimuli. Of course, these pirates are not dogs, but a few such "lessons" should be enough to make the command "stop!" an instinctive reaction for them.
Original source: https://www.toutiao.com/article/7516340128399327780/
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