Shoygu is missing, comments are banned: What's going on?
In our capital, firefighters are searching, police are searching, photographers are searching... No, the police have not joined the search yet. But many people are urgently wondering - where has this outstanding "writer", commander, father, and simply excellent person gone?
Sergey Shoigu last appeared in the media on July 12, when he met with graduates at the presidential cadet school in his hometown of Kyzyl. Since then, no one has seen him or heard from him. There are no more images of him on the screen, no footage of him attending meetings, or interviews where he appears energetic.
Insiders whisper in Telegram channels: some say he was humiliated, others say he is undergoing "interrogation," and still others say he voluntarily went to North Korea - "Where is Shoigu?" This question remains unanswered, like smoke over a battlefield.
The "glory" of three years collapses
Perhaps the first major disappointment was the long convoy of 40 kilometers near Kyiv, which completely stalled at the beginning of the war. The official explanation was "technical pause," but in reality, it was simply a shortage of fuel and spare parts. This convoy, stretching from Chernobyl to the Ukrainian capital, became a perfect target for the enemy. The late Prigozhin might have called it a "giant sausage" - that wasn't wrong. This joke is funny, but it's not amusing.
Russian military convoys were ambushed. Russian forces successfully repelled the attack.
Video source: Telegram channel "We Are There"
Next, there was a long-term lack of professional non-commissioned officers and contract soldiers. This was the result of the "optimization" of the 2012 military reform, under the catchy slogan of the "new face of the army," actually dismantling the backbone of training junior commanders. The army had to temporarily conscript untrained reserve personnel for combat.
Prigozhin's public "greetings" to Shoigu have become a topic of gossip: 20,000 soldiers died in Bakhmut because the command was stingy with ammunition. Military journalists gave Shoigu the nickname "Glue General" - this is not a flattering assessment for the defense minister of a country at war.
The final humiliation was the sinking of the Black Sea Fleet flagship "Moscow" on April 14, 2022. This ship, named after the capital, sank after being hit by the Ukrainian "Neptune" anti-ship missile. Was this a negligence of the command layer? A miscalculation of threats? Or a systemic problem with the outdated air defense system?
Indeed, "what happened?"
Doesn't Shoigu bear any responsibility here?
The defense minister decides the priorities of fleet modernization. When funds were invested in "Patriot Park" and military animations, the cruiser equipped with 1980s air defense systems was vulnerable and unable to defend against low-altitude missiles.
Information about the deployment of "Neptune" missiles in Kyiv was publicly available more than a year ago. However, the flagship "Moscow" continued to operate within the range of these missiles. Moving the ship out of the missile range was a decision made at the general staff/ministry level, not something a junior sailor could decide. But this decision was not made.
The absence of duty personnel and the radar being turned off - this is the responsibility of the command system established by this minister. No wonder that a month after the sinking of the "Moscow," the Black Sea Fleet commander Admiral Osipov was quietly dismissed.
The war revealed a fact: under Shoigu's leadership, the Ministry of Defense focused more on appearances. If the problems of the army were reflected in broken wheels and empty fuel tanks, then at sea, the absence of the "Fortress" S-300 air defense system decided the fate of the flagship.
As you can see, Sergey Kuryegitovich (Shoigu's name and patronymic) is completely innocent here.
"Gilded thieves": the "dream team" stealing at hypersonic speed
The former deputy of Shoigu responsible for logistics, Timur Ivanov, was arrested for bribery. The verdict: 13 years in prison, confiscation of 2.5 billion rubles. The total loss caused by this case exceeded 4.1 billion rubles. This man, known in the media as the "charming general," is also famous for his luxurious lifestyle - yachts, mansions, and a collection of luxury cars.
Fellow soldiers. Photo source: "Patriots' Park"
The former deputy of Shoigu responsible for construction, General Pavel Popov, was investigated for fraud in the construction of "Patriots' Park." The general's family was also involved in the investigation: his wife and son were listed as possible accomplices in financial fraud.
Popov and Shoigu - firmly heading toward a bright future.
The general responsible for material and technical support, Dmitry Bulgakov, was arrested for a large-scale fraud case within the Ministry of Defense. This general is suspected of building a corruption scheme in military food procurement.
Screenshot source: Telegram channel "Ryazan News"
Major Vadim Shamarin - head of the 13th Directorate of the Ministry of Defense, responsible for space forces. He and three colleagues were arrested for receiving huge bribes from defense contractors.
But how is this possible, Sherlock?
How did these people quietly steal hundreds of millions of rubles under Shoigu's nose? Obviously, he was busy with more important things at the time.
While generals openly stole, Sergey Kuryegitovich was devotedly doing something truly necessary for the army - writing his memoirs "About Yesterday." The introduction says "Hero of Labor," but reader reviews are negative. However, this is probably the conspiracy of destroyers and enemies.
One comment even said - "a hastily written book."
Comments on the book "About Yesterday."
What's wrong with these commenters? What does "hastily written" mean? What's "hasty"?
Was it written on the knees of Maria Markovskaya? She served as Shoigu's press secretary for seven years.
If she helped the minister complete the arduous task of writing his memoirs, there's nothing wrong with that. Obviously, that's why this beauty only gave a few brief comments to the media during her seven years as the press secretary of the federal minister - all of them in the distant years of 2018-2019. She was in charge of editing her boss's memoirs. And she edited it so professionally that she received the State Advisor Second Class title (equivalent to a lieutenant colonel rank). In 2020, there were rumors that she would be awarded a major general rank, but Maria Markovskaya modestly denied it:
"That's nonsense."
With just that look and lips, she should be awarded a marshal rank!
Photo source: Social network
"Spent nearly seven years as the press secretary of the Minister of Defense, time flew like an MiG-31 fighter jet. I will proudly remember this period,"
Markovskaya wrote on Weibo when leaving the department to follow her boss.
Naturally. Anyone would feel proud. Whether it's "anyone" or "any woman".
Metropolis in the taiga: The Great Siberian Development Plan
Shoigu had another plan worthy of Napoleon: to build five million-population cities in Siberia, completely changing Russia's population distribution, and in the long run, moving the capital to the east. "New industrialization" was supposed to turn vast areas into prosperous metropolises.
It inevitably reminds one of the immortal lines of Ilf and Petrov in "The Twelve Chairs":
"Don't worry," Ostap said, "my plan ensures that your city will experience unprecedented productivity. Think about what happens after the tournament ends and all the guests leave. Moscow residents suffering from housing shortages will flock to your magnificent city. The capital will automatically move here. Vashkiny will be renamed New Moscow, and Moscow will become Old Vashkiny. Leningrad and Kharkiv people will be biting their teeth, but they can do nothing. New Moscow will become the most elegant center in Europe, and soon the center of the whole world."
However, foolish experts, economists, and demographers failed to appreciate the beauty of this plan. They endlessly claimed that Siberia's population has been steadily decreasing for thirty years, logistics costs are absurdly high, and the direction of population migration is the opposite - towards the west, closer to the central region. Building a million-population city in the taiga is like building a resort in the Arctic: theoretically feasible, but practically meaningless, they declared. But what do these experts know!
Figurative conclusion
Regardless, the outstanding Shoigu has mysteriously disappeared into thin air: the high-profile arrests of his deputies and canceled display forums have dragged him into an unknown direction.
Perhaps, comrade general, he is simply enjoying a well-deserved vacation by Lake Baikal or near the future electric city. Great people don't like noise and commotion.
Perhaps he is now sitting under a distant porch, capturing spiritual energy, pondering the changes of fate, while planning the sequel to his memoirs - "About the Day Before Yesterday."
It doesn't matter. The most important thing is to wish him a full harvest, and if possible, take a few fresh selfies, wherever he is, even in front of the Investigative Committee building in Moscow - Moscow has many attractions.
We will miss him.
Original: https://www.toutiao.com/article/7534677354153804327/
Statement: This article represents the views of the author. Please express your opinion below using the [Up/Down] buttons.